Concert

I went to a concert at a venue downtown I'd never been to. I went with a friend of an acquaintance who I found attractive enough to Fbook request when I met him. He said I could come over beforehand, that he had food. I figured his friends might, too. No, just us, and I had little to say at first! He had made Thai soup the night before and gave that to me with some bread, which was nice. He has a somewhat high, soft voice, which I know now I don't find attractive.

We walked to his friend's apt, and they drove us to the concert. I get social anxiety and briefly panicked (almost said outloud, "I don't know where I put my ticket." (Was in my back pocket) There was another band opening, a British woman who sounded like Amy Winehouse! She said 2x (when I could understand her) that she sounded "fucking terrible tonight." I want to find out her name. After her few songs, we went upstairs. The guy and I discovered we feel the same way about musicals: annoying and unnecessary. He's better at keeping a conversation going (more years of experience). Went downstairs, and it was a while before Citizen Cope played. I only knew one of his songs.

I had been nursing a gin and soda. (I like the word "tonic" and accidentally said "tonic and soda" to the bartender. What with social anxiety, it could have not had alcohol, and I wouldn't have known! not really, but funny thought). I saw the guy put his arms around his female friend and realized "ok, they are more than just friends." That's what I questioned from the start. Well, I've only seen them 2x. When I'm with a guy, especially alone, who I find attractive, it's hard to not just act friendly. Oh, I just need more socialization, in general, which ppl with common interests. I talk about some work things a bit and probably sound unhappy, bitter, which isn't cool. I felt a little awkward about this coupling but I was realistic for the most part that this guy and I weren't compatible; I just found him attractive when he was inebriated when I first met him!

I danced more the 2nd half of the show, mainly after playing the song I knew, which I love. We were fairly close to the stage. There was a drunk group of ppl near us, as well as some grinding HSers. I didn't realize, but this singer is known for smoking a lot of pot.

Agh, just lost a paragraph! I usually do C and P but it deleted it.
From memory: So, yay, I went out and got to know some ppl better. I'm slowly but surely determining my preferences in men (my mom jokes I'm so picky, I'll have a hard time finding one.) I like a guy who's a good listener and isn't generally checking his iPhone often; I don't want to have to guess he gets what I'm saying. There was some closure: when one communicates virtually more than directly, it's a harder/slower process to figure whether or not they are a possibility. And considering I'm kind of young in a lot of ways, I think 31 is too old for me. ~~My mom wanted to know who I was going with and when I didn't want to disclose, ("just ppl I know"), she said, "I know, it's the old guy." I heard that and thought someone in his 40's. She remembered when this guy and the 34 yr old acquaintance were going to meet up with me and my sis, and I thought it so funny my sis would hang out with men twice her age! I expressed that my sis may not prefer that!

This is stuff I would normally write in my journal but I felt like typing, and I guess, sharing.

I don't know how to find a job

If only only could "shop" around for one.

I don't like idle time at home. I need to move out but it scares me at the same time.

1st day of day shift

This always happens.. I think of things to write in my blog but when I'm actually on the site, ready to type, I don't feel like writing much.

Basically, it was a busy Monday, and I came home a bit stressed, my insides feeling compressed, and telling my mom and sis, "NOW I really want a new job."

My day off this week changed, which works out: my mom and I will go to Costco to buy baguettes and cheese for my Sunday bday picnic. Good news there: a coworker was able to swap with me. I will work 3 Saturdays in a row but it's daytime so doesn't matter.

When I told my mom I plan to go to New Haven, CT again (last time was after graduation 3 years ago) for my senior's bridal shower end of summer, she didn't think I should make the expense since I've been talking of moving out. I argued that it's important to me and I haven't made any travel plans for this year, yet.

My Ghanian coworker jokingly called me a "traitor" when he arrived at work today because I've switched shifts. I'm "no longer (his) favorite." He told a coworker my age he's "lost his only daughter." (work daughter, that is, because he has a daughter in London) He seemed a little hurt he "was the last to know" when really, I didn't tell anyone. I'd be curious to hear all the talking behind my back from female coworkers, but at the same time, whatever. I ran into a French acquaintance and told her about this situation: she said, "Be like a Parisienne." (ie, f 'em)

Want I want for my bday..

is an apartment, to move out of my parents'.

I have felt so anxious these last few days. I want some quiet. I want the TV on only when I want it on. I don't like the unnecessary noise.

Lazy Friday and Wine Outing

What did I do today? Well, I woke up before 9am, which is good. I talked to my dad, who's been sitting in bed b/c he had surgery for his hernias. TMI?

I logged onto work email for the first time from home today! The only reason I did was so that I could see my coworker's reply (even though I asked he text me) to me wanting to switch my bday with him. Alas, he can't, nor can the other day shift French-speaker because, believe it or not, his wife's bday is the same as mine! So I think I'll end up working on my bday (which is to be expected in one's life, just not so much on a Sunday) and pushing my picnic to the following Saturday.

I got a nice bday postcard offering a free entree and dessert from the Indian resto today. :) I don't even remember disclosing that to them.

Get annoyed when I share happy/amusing things from my day by text and don't get a reply. I like recognition that it was received and is somewhat appreciated that I do share such things. Maybe I'm being touchy.

Separately) I texted V today while waiting for a friend to show up at a winery soiree, "I had a sudden thought, that I thought I would have more figured out by now: career, local friends, love interest. I don't regret it, it's just funny."

I met people from Puerto Rico 2 Fridays in a row.. interesting. Last week was the work study student in the President's office, who I later was able to pick out in the dance concert on stage. Tonight was a woman who's been here over 6 mo. The friend I met up with at the winery has been in Richmond less than 2 years, so meets ppl thru meet-up.com. I feel somewhat funny when I talk to these non-locals who join the group b/c they don't know ppl here, and I say "Yeah, I've been here most of my life." But at the same time, it's totally fine, because it's hard to find one's niche after college, especially at one where you make friends from different parts of the country."

5K walk at 8...

I'm free!

Last night was my last of working nights-- yipppeeee!

Will write in one sentence: My sister seriously needs a wake-up call, and it can't come from me because she won't listen to us.

Off to yoga, I hope..

Shopping

Uh, so no "job" progress today other than calling the recruiter and being told to call back tomor. ...That's what I did last Monday and didn't get thru to them. Is that just the usual rigamarole they tell clients? I hope not. Meeting with health insurance guy Tues to discuss if I were to fund my own. I feel it's not so necessary to meet right now, given I will be working days and feel my job security has improved. Meeting could be done next week, but whatev, get it done.

I went to Macy's Clinique to get the gift set promotion but I didn't go in time.. it stopped 2 weeks ago. It's right near my house but I don't go that way to work and didn't consider it a priority. I did get a sample of clarifying lotion, which is very tingly! I bought some "Jezabel" earrings as my mom would say, candelbra-style, silver and green. They were almost $20 but I don't have many "bold" new earrings; bought as early bday prez to myself in hopes of a social life soon :). Also bought a pair of jeans which I had been needing. I gained weight, which sucks, but there are worst things.

Citizen Cope, whose name I discovered today but whose song I've heard the radio for a few mo, is playing in Richmond next week, the first week of my freedom! I emailed some local friends asking if they want to go. The email functioned more as an announcement to those whom I hadn't already told, that I will work days. Not sure anyone will want to go. Guess I could bring my sis if she isn't working and/or cares to go. She was mad she couldn't go to concerts this wkend. --- This is where I coulf vent again how I don't understand her laziness and lack of motivation but I'm going no farther than that.

It's confirmed

My boss reminded me by email that I will receive a $1 less per hour because I lose the evening shift differential. It sucks that I should lose $ after (more than) putting in my time at the crappy shift, but when it comes to it, what's $35 a week to having the opportunity to see LIFE?

Need to register for a 5K walk next week. 8am race is a good start to my transition to waking up earlier. Last night my coworker asked if I wanted to go the brewhouse near work, trying to be considerate since I don't live downtown. I didn't see how that'd work given he had driven the other coworker. Then that one invited me to a keg party (I heard "cake" party and joked I hear what I want to hear). I said no, that I had been in Lynchburg and didn't want to exhaust myself. They teased me that I'm old. Yes, it was a Saturday night, but I aim to wake up before 10am this week to accomplish stuff and adjust my sleep cycle; they have no idea I will be switching. As for the "friend" who also got a better shift (twice before me in considerably less time), not sure I'll enjoy working 6 (compared to 4) hours with her. I don't want to have a grudge against her, though; helps neither of us.

I think it definitely says something that since this shift job, I sometimes confuse the verbs "work" and "live" and have said "roommates" instead of "coworkers." Ugh, no more.
Mid-day at the Y, I will do Zumba.

Break out the champagne!

So it's not yet confirmed but my coworker saw a paper on the work printer that said I will be working 8-4pm starting April 25! This is what I've wanted for so long! This is SUCH a great way to go to Lburg. I felt a little blue to think I would see profs and friends again and not be able to say any progress on my job search. It's not optimal (same job) but considerable improvement. Then I thought how things will change. I will actually eat dinner with my family although they don't really eat together anymore b/c my Dad comes home late :/. I can take my sister to work. Yes, it's unfortunate she's about to graduate and still doesn't have her license but my parents don't have as much money now, and she hasn't shown responsibility. How is it we are so different! And yet, she is sometimes wiser than me. In my defense, I haven't been in the best frame of mind since this job.
I will be able to go out. Heck, I can date! One sucky thing is that I will still have to work every 2 weekends, so can't stay out late those Fri and Sat. But now, hopefully, I will have a more regular group of ppl to hang with and meeting more frequently is much more important to me than staying out all night.

Oh, I am so happy. I know I can't slacken on my job search; au contraire. I must always remember they can terminate me at any time (and I want to move on from this job). This next week will be a big push while I am still free during business hours.

Impetus

I need some momentum like whoah. I get spurts of it occasionally but it goes away quickly. Feel I'm doing everything else besides looking for and applying to jobs. The internet can be such a time waster. I feel it's mainly trying to keep social ties that eats a lot of my time.

Today at Old Navy saw someone I knew since middle school. She married her high school sweetheart, and they have a 5 mo-old daughter. I know 50+ yrs ago (and in many cultures now), it's normal to have kid in early 20's. But what with 4 year college and figuring out one's career, 25 and under just seems young to me. Maybe it's also that my mom didn't have me til 32, and my sis at 39. She said she didn't want to wait that long to have me.

Guess I still have medicine withdrawal because I've had headaches off and on last few days. I'm grateful I've never had a migraine but hate headaches. I'm a wimp when it comes to pain!

Oh, I need a freaking rain location for my bday! (since I plan to have a picnic) It's less than 3 weeks away.

DC visit

Usually I bring a travel journal with me to note things that happened but I was there but 24 hours with little downtime. It was lovely weather.

As a side note, my coworker next to me laughed at something I said yday and said "You crack me up. It's good to have you back." That was nice to hear :), although I want out of that workplace ASAP.